I wish that I had the gift of words. I struggle to really put down on paper or a computer screen what I am feeling inside. Actually, I struggle in speaking words well too. It is just not one of my strengths. Nevertheless (I love this word!), I am going to try to express a marvelous awakening I had while away at my cousins funeral. Strange how the unexpected happens in unexpected places and we come away better people. At least, I am hoping to become "better people" because of what I have saw and felt.
It feels that my perspective and attitude regarding life have had a good wake up call! I have had a lot of time to think and ponder about my life while away. I have come home a different person. I was gone for only 3 1/2 days but such a change of heart has occurred within me. I left this experience with a determined resolve to live better than I have lived, to love deeper than I have loved, and to smile more than I have smiled. I am here to be happy!
Katie has had a significant impact on my life. She has cheered me on at a time when I needed a cheerleader. She was always one that I have looked to and admired. I have followed her blogs and watched with admiration her brave fight against cancer. Even in her death I have come away with so much. I know that I am not the only one that has been changed because of Katie. Her influence will continue to be felt as those who have known and loved her take what they have learned and apply it into their own lives thereby allowing Katie's influence to still have influence upon the living.
If you see any change in me, know that it is because I saw in my cousin's life something that I want to emulate in mine. She smiled A LOT! She bravely accepted the Lord's will. She laughed, even at the very end. She loved deeply. She was valiant! She had many close friends. Oh how I want these things! I already know that I won't be perfect in my attempts but I am going to work hard and when I slip I will pick myself up and keep trying. I've decided to keep Katie's funeral program in my scriptures to serve as my reminder of what I want to change.
I am so grateful I was able to have this choice experience! I didn't think that it would change me the way that it has. I can see why the Lord wanted me to be at the funeral and why He helped me get there. I needed a good wake up and Katie's funeral created the perfect place for this to occur. A great amount of good has come to me because of my cousin Katie's life. I feel blessed to have had such an example in my life. Thank you Katie for helping me learn things that I couldn't have learned any other way. Oh how I will miss my cousin Katie!
