Heavenly Father
Jesus Christ
Family
If you will permit, I would like to share with you one of the harder trials I have had to face in a very long time. I recognize that this trial might be minimal in comparison to what you are facing right now but for me it is very real and has involved real growing. I have felt for some time the need to share some of what I have learned from all of this.Family
You would think that after having been on what I like to describe as a remote island for these last nineteen months of my life, that life would be all sorts of adjusted and such...that perhaps my life would feel settled with warm homey feelings flowing out my front door...that the sign with the greeting "welcome home" would ring truth and comfort in my heart. The truth of the matter is, I am not yet there. I have not yet reached that place of feeling like I am "home". Now please do not misunderstand me. My life is not all bad out here on the grassy, prairie plains for I have been blessed to meet some very choice people who have become good friends to me but there are moments when I do feel a kinship, even an understanding of the challenge Lot's wife faced as she left the comforts of her home, her familiar surroundings, and what must have been dear, treasured friends. There is within me the tendency to look back and sadly it comes with such tender feelings reminding me of what once was and what might have been. Goodness gracious, I can not adequately express the homesick feeling that continues to linger in my heart. I continue to struggle as I wonder if this place will ever feel like home to me.
It is during these aching moments when miracles begin to take place. It is no small thing to sense when growth is occurring within our soul. These moments, when the heart feels that it can take no more and when tears are watering the pillow, allow for a precious, tender mercy to be extended. There comes an open armed reach and the only one who can bring any comfort at all, completely and totally envelops us in the arms of His love and there He is, ready to help.
It is no small thing to feel and know that He is always there. I am learning more than I ever have before the truth that He truly does love me. No matter how short I fall, or how often I struggle in accepting my new life here, He loves me regardless. Though I am not all that I should be right now, He is patient in my efforts to wake each new day and give it another try.
One of my all time favorite scriptures is Philipians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." This verse has been my anthem during any hard time I have had to endure. I readily acknowledge that I have had to lean on it often. It was only recently though that my eyes were opened to the true strength found within this verse. I was directed to study the preceding two verses. Paul states, "...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." I was struck by the powerful phrase, "I have learned" which then leads to the powerful declaration, "I can do!" In answer to my prayers, I was reminded of my need for proper perspective when dealing with my mortal experiences.
I often ask the Lord, "What is it that I am to learn here in North Dakota?" I don't believe that the complete answer has come to me yet but one of the many things that I have learned is this: no matter what my house looks like, both on the inside or on the out, no matter if I have to shop at a thrift store or can afford the trendy shops in the mall, no matter if I get my hair colored by a professional or have to buy a bottle and do it myself, no matter if I weigh 200 pounds or 100 pounds...I still matter!
Right now, I am learning the principle of accepting, even being content, recognizing that all that I do have are blessings that the Lord has given me, right now, today. I see more clearly how my view nineteen months ago was distorted by the things that matter least. I am learning that the things that matter most, aren't things. I am learning that the worth of all souls is not based on what we see on outside.
What a wonderful gift it is to know that we are here for a purpose and that purpose is to learn, to progress, and to become. The true power of learning and progressing comes from the strength that only Jesus Christ can give! It is He alone that leads our tired feet, into pastures green and sweet.
I often ask the Lord, "What is it that I am to learn here in North Dakota?" I don't believe that the complete answer has come to me yet but one of the many things that I have learned is this: no matter what my house looks like, both on the inside or on the out, no matter if I have to shop at a thrift store or can afford the trendy shops in the mall, no matter if I get my hair colored by a professional or have to buy a bottle and do it myself, no matter if I weigh 200 pounds or 100 pounds...I still matter!
Right now, I am learning the principle of accepting, even being content, recognizing that all that I do have are blessings that the Lord has given me, right now, today. I see more clearly how my view nineteen months ago was distorted by the things that matter least. I am learning that the things that matter most, aren't things. I am learning that the worth of all souls is not based on what we see on outside.
What a wonderful gift it is to know that we are here for a purpose and that purpose is to learn, to progress, and to become. The true power of learning and progressing comes from the strength that only Jesus Christ can give! It is He alone that leads our tired feet, into pastures green and sweet.
